Friends are family of your choice

Relationships are like responsibilities. Every expectation creates a role and every role creates a relationship. We live in a complex world where every person has multiple roles in life. Men are fathers, husbands, brothers, friends, bread earners and so on. Women again are mothers, sisters, daughters, wives, friends, home makers, wage earners, etc. Each of these roles assigns us some responsibilities and more the roles more responsibilities. We are accountable for each of our responsibilities then why do we make friends, enter into relationships, and add to our responsibilities.

Human beings are social animals though, I despise humans being called animals as humans are humans and animals are animals but sociologist call humans social animals so I use the same expression. They live in companionship of others and can only survive when in their drove. That’s why many statutes have penalties which are solitary confinements. Solitary confinement is also used to break people like they are holding detainees at Guantanamo.  Being alone is painful, very painful indeed.

There are different people who help us grow through a range of phases in life. Parents sustain us when we are infants, siblings join in when we are toddlers and activity partners when we are adolescents. No one can make a choice of family he or she is born in; so as a corollary we have to accept parents and siblings that are already chosen for us. But it is not possible to cover the whole nine yards of life with these primary relations only.

We need much more than parental and sibling espousal to live our lives. We need soul mates who are there to share whatever we have. Expectations from our parents and siblings force us to be a certain person, which we may or may not be; therefore we need someone with whom we are just us and nothing else. Such is the pleasure of having friends that we are backed in everything right or wrong. I quote from Khuswant Singh’s Train to Pakistan where he says “Punjabi morals are baffling, you swear on Holy Quran or Geeta, get beaten up at a police station and still tell a lie for a friend and be called a nar adami a he man”. While his novel is set in Punjab but these words hold true for many cultures.

Friendship or fraanship – as one of my dear friends calls it – is an asset without which hardly anyone of us can survive. We choose our friends therefore we have control over who enters our life and who stays on. This is a circle that is based purely on our liking and choice. You can share anything and everything that you have with a friend and still feel secure. A true friend will defend you when you cannot defend yourself, cover you where you are at your weakest.

Treasure your friendships. Keep them close to your heart. With a friend be random, take chances, dance in the rain, cry, spend all your cash, sing out loud, fall in love, laugh till your stomach hurts, dance like no one is watching, laugh at a stupid joke, say I love you, make them feel better, make up a song, tell them how much they mean to you, and try anything new. Life will be at its best it will be so much fun and pleasing.