Dark Alleys

We all have a fair share of successes and failures in life. Each of us feels the heat of this complicated experience that we call life. More often than not we see ourselves in difficult situations and once into a difficult condition we tend to remember it forever. It is difficult to forget and get over with the despair and anguish of a failure. We feel trapped in a dark alley which would lead us to nowhere.

The darkest of alleys too leads somewhere. Testing times are there for a purpose. A purpose we do not understand. Our pain and agony won’t benefit anyone, though sometimes one person’s success is others failure but why this pain is associated with failure.

Difficult times are just like examinations. As a child I was very afraid of examinations where often I did poorly than good. A wise man then told me that every examination is an opportunity.  School examinations get us promoted to the next grade, a job test gets us a new employment and trials of life get us to the next stage of human intellect.

I had more failures than successes. Every success mad me happy for a very short while whereas my failures haunt me even decades later. These failures are like old wounds which start paining whenever there is a reason. Even wounds that healed left behind scars as reminders of the difficult times that I once went through. Sometimes life seems just a collage of wounds and scars. 

When I take a stock of my life so far, amazingly I reckon that my failures were my successes. Yes they gave me strength that enabled me to fight even tougher battles, though it is a immaterial whether I lost or won, but I survived. The darkest alleys where I often found myself struggling, cursing, yelling, crying and kicking led me somewhere. Every failure taught me a lesson and gave me strength to survive the newer onslaught from life. Had I never faced a major defeat I would not have been the person that I am today. Every time when I thought life could not be worse it worsened but amazingly I survived.

Is survival all what I wanted from life? No I wanted successes, I wanted to be a winner, I wanted to be on top of the world but I could not get most of it. I find it hard to believe that successful people are better than failed individuals because I have seen wonderful people failing and a world of mediocrity succeeding.

My failures were in fact my successes. Whenever I found myself in a dark alley I came out into a new world where I emerged as a stronger person. I would never have reached this stage where I do not cherish victory or dread failure. I attained peace within and without. With so much in my hands I do not believe I am a loser. The darkest alleys and dead ends were not the end of life but they were just the means to another world. I discovered myself only after I attained a degree of failures. I would have never known my strengths had I not failed so often. I would still be running in the race of life cursing myself and others but still running. Amazingly my failures gave me the depth to appreciate world from an angle different than ‘success and failure’.

My love you have all the ingredients to take you to the top of the world, you are honest, straight forward, happy go lucky sort of person but you have to liberate yourself from the desire of being successful in every sphere of life. You will only know yourself when you disenthrall yourself from the mundane meanings of failure and success. You will one day define these words for yourself and the world.  I am sure you will find your failures counted towards successes once you are free from other people’s meanings of failures.

The darkest alleys in life lead us to self discovery. This is the success that only emerges from failures. My dear I would have been a different person whom you know today had I been always been successful. I would have been unsure of myself if I had not faced more than my due share of failures.

You are so strong and honest that at times it is difficult to face you. That amazing quality comes not from a stream of success but failures. Did you or did you not? May you be successful and strong without the pain associated both with success and failure however you perceive them. 

The most powerful expressin in the face of defeat is from Milton when he says:

What though the field be lost?

All is not lost—the unconquerable will,

And study of revenge, immortal hate,

And courage never to submit or yield:

And what is else not to be overcome.

                                    (John Milton - The Paradise Lost, Book I, 105)